Why Italy didn't advance past the group stage

I’m right up there with the most passionate of Azzurri supporters. I bleed that cool, classy blue. After Italy won the World Cup in 2006, I decorated my entire room with Campione Del Mondo memorabilia. I bought jackets and jerseys; created a scrapbook of the games; and debated getting a 4 star Italia tattoo. To say I was happy...would be an understatement.

We were on top of the world four years ago in Germany. But boy oh boy, have things changed in four years. Now, Italy and all supporters are the laughing stock of the soccer world. I can’t eat, I can barely sleep and I haven’t been able to look at all those soccer posters in my room.

Whatever, we lost...it happens. But it shouldn’t happen like this! This World Cup was a nightmare for Italy and all its fans. Yet, I can’t say I’m totally surprised. I saw this happening. I knew the team and saw the weaknesses.
So without further fluffing about, here are the 5 reasons why Italy had such a horrible World Cup campaign:

1. Fabio Cannavaro

To say Fabio Cannavaro is still a world-class centre back would be a blatant lie. At 36, he proved to be too old to keep up with the quicker, younger strikers from Paraguay, New Zealand and Slovakia. He was sluggish and timid. It’s almost like he knew he wasn’t capable of stopping any through-ball or speedy striker. His man-marking was brutal and he couldn’t command the back four like he once did. He had his worst season ever with Juventus this year and clearly, wasn’t able to return to ‘Cannavaro form’ in this World Cup.

The main problem was that the Italian defence relied too heavily on him. Cannavaro should never have seen the pitch in this World Cup; he just wasn’t capable of leading the defence. Salvatore Bocchetti had an amazing year with Genoa in Serie A this past season and should have replaced Cannavaro after the first game against Paraguay. And don’t even get me started on Chiellini’s play.

2. Poor offence

Italy has never been an offensive power-house, but this year’s offense was just plain garbage. Alberto Gilardino was a waste of jersey in this tournament. He was slow, lacked creativity and showed no passion. Vincenzo Iaquinta was old and slow. Antonio Di Natale tried his best, but he just didn’t have the strength to carry this offense. The one bright spark in the offense was Fabio Quagliarella who only played the second half in the last game against Slovakia. He had the speed, creativity and desire to carry the offense, but his skill and value was realized far too late in the tournament.

Further, Italy missed Andrea Pirlo (who missed the first two games with a calf injury). He is the quarter-back to the Italian attack and without him, Italy had no skill or creativity in the offensive zone. Riccardo Montolivo, coined as Pirlo’s future replacement, was too inexperienced to make a difference. Overall, the offense let the team down.

3. Mix of young and old players didn’t work

The critics said Italy was too old to do anything in this World Cup and they may have been right. But the real problem was that Lippi mixed the old with the young and didn’t have a set game-plan for them to work together. Through-balls constantly rolled out of bounds and nobody knew what the others were doing; there was no chemistry between the players. Lippi should have brought Grosso, Materazzi, Perrotta and Totti to South Africa. Even though these players are old, they are proven champions and at least we would have had experience on our side. Instead, Lippi mixed some experience with some youth and the results weren’t pretty; the two never meshed.

4. No dynamic game-plan

Whether you’re playing a young, fast team or an experienced, tactical team, you need to set out a game-plan that counters your opponent’s skill set. At times, Italy was working the ball wide and attacked the flanks. At other times, they attacked the middle and tried cheeky one-two passes. But the problem was that there was no method to this madness. Clearly, Italy didn’t do their homework or watch enough opponent game footage. They never looked dangerous in the offensive zone or dominant in their own. They needed to understand their opponent and adjust their game-plan accordingly. But with the same formation from game to game, Italy never knew how to beat their opponents. And going a goal down in each of their three games was their demise. They didn’t have the creativity or fortitude to battle back and win a game.

5. Losing Gianluigi Buffon

He’s arguably the best keeper in the world and once he went down with an injury, Italy never looked confident in their backup goalie. Federico Marchetti (the backup) never looked comfortable or capable in goal. He let an easy, wobbly shot get through him against New Zealand and looked tired and tentative in the three goals from Slovaki; two of which he should have saved. You can’t replace Buffon, but still, you should have a capable backup, ready to step in and make the easy saves. Marchetti failed...miserably.

All in all, it was a brutal World Cup for Italy. It’ll be interesting to see how Italian media handle this debauchery... and for me, I’ll have to find solace in my old videos from the 2006 World Cup.

Go Argentina Go!

The Best and Worst Father's Day gifts

I know it's been a while since I've updated this blog; I've been busy. But I think this post is fitting considering it's Father's Day.

First, let me just remind you that your father gets to celebrate today because of you; He is only a father because of you were born, so these gifts should benefit you in some way. Also, since your dad is a guy, chances are he has either forgotten your birthday, sold your dog at a poker game, or gambled away your soul for the chance of winning $45. Thus, you shouldn’t be too worried about whether or not he appreciates your Father’s Day gifts and rather, the most important thing is that you benefit from these gifts in someway. And for the record, there are only 2 WORST gifts because Dads really aren’t that picky and will like and or eat anything. So here is the list of Best and Worst gifts:

BEST GIFTS

Cheap Tee-Shirt

Dads love comfortable tee shirts and rarely care about size; it’s either ‘too small –but it’ll work’ or ‘too big – but it’ll work’. Either way, he will make it work. And chances are your dad doesn’t know the difference between Lacoste and LaWalmart, so don’t worry about style, just go real cheap! And I’m not talking about a 2 shirts for $20 deal; I’m talking about raiding a lost and found bin or giving him one of your old ones. Or better yet, find a decent shirt in his closet, then spray paint it a different colour and give it to him. Why? It’s free and Dads love the smell of paint – win win.

Gardening Gloves

This gift works for two main reasons. First, once you invest in giving him something that he can use in the garden, you will never have to mow the lawn or trim the bushes anymore. He won’t want you to touch his gloves or his fortress bushes – chore avoided! Second, this gift works because the gloves can be considered a fashion accessory and thus, if he ticks you off, just tell him his gloves don’t match his handbag. He will be so enraged by this comment that he will immediately question his masculinity from that point forth. Why is that a good thing you ask? Well, in order to reassure his ‘manliness’ he will rush out and buy a Camaro, Mustang, or Corvette and after a few weeks and his guard is down, you will be able to drive the car. Again, the gloves are a gift that keeps on giving.

A 24 of Beer

Let’s face it, Dads love beer! But who loves beer even more than Dads? WE DO of course. Thus, since he will be so happy that you gave him such a thoughtful gift, he will probably say: “what a great gift, please help yourself to some of these beers!” This is a crucial mistake on his part because by saying this, he is assuming that you will only take 1 or 2 beers, but we all know that when it comes to beer/alcohol, we lose all restraint and neglect all rational thought – so taking 15 or 23 of these beers isn’t out of the realm of possibilities. Also, since your dad is an old-timer, he may have lost some of his drinking tolerance, so once he downs 2 or 3, the rest of the beers are fair game for you. You might as well trash the Father’s Day card and just give this present to you because that’s where it’s going anyways.

“King of the Grill” Apron

I give you full permission to stroke his ego with this gift. Why? Because if he has a “King of the Grill” apron, he will want to BBQ anything, everything, and at any time. Steak, Chicken, Sausage, your neighbour’s cat…. It’s all BBQ worthy for him. Thus, you will be eating delicious ‘neighbour cat’ in no time! It’s BBQ season – stay hungry friends.

A Sentimental Picture (you and him)

This is possibly the only gift in the world that can melt your dad’s heart. Not only is this gift really cheap, but it is all considered thoughtful, sweet, touching, yada, yada, yada. And why is all that ‘sweet’ stuff important? It’s important because it will act as your future “get out of jail” free card. Any time you are getting in trouble for something just quickly show him the picture. Don’t even say anything, just grab the picture and hold it in front of his face. Furthermore, this picture will enable you to do even stupider things in the future because you can always use it to get you out of trouble. Just watch:

You: “Dad, I smashed the car” (show the picture)
Dad: “it’s ok, as long as you are safe – and here with me, like you were in that picture.”

You: “Dad, I failed University” (show the picture)
Dad: “ahh so did I, we are one in the same – a beautiful family, just like in that picture.”

You: “Dad, I’m pregnant!” (show the picture)
Dad: “Hopefully it’s twins that look just like you and I…. in that picture.”

See, this gift always works.

WORST GIFTS

“Scarface” DVD

Before you even think of buying him this gift, think back to every single time you’ve heard some stupid kid/person say “say hello to my little friend!” It’s annoying as hell right? So then why would you even think of giving your father 3 hours of crappy Cuban accident’ed slang terms to recite? Think again, the lines aren’t original anymore and your dad isn’t a talented actor – this gift sucks in every way.

A Muscle Tee Shirt

Even though your dad will wear pretty much anything, don’t let him wear a muscle shirt. It’s the Worst gift for 3 reasons.

1. Your dad is probably not in great shape and seeing him in a muscle tee shirt does not benefit you in anyway. In fact, it will probably scar you in several ways.

2. He will actually think that since you gave him this shirt to wear, he IS in great shape! So he will be wearing it constantly – bustling around in it, looking a like bag of sand trying to smuggle a sack of hot pizza dough.

3. His confidence will be through the roof, which will probably turn your mother on in some sick perverse way. Thus, you will be dealing with disgusting sexual innuendo comments and gross sounding inside jokes every time he wears the shirt. And you know he will be wearing it often. Example:

Dad: “Oh man, this shirt just barely covers my rock hard body”
Mom: “You’re right it does….too bad.”

Dad: “I look like Zeus in this shirt”
Mom: “mmmhmm”

Dad: “Someone should test me for steroids in this shirt”
Mom: “Can I?”

Gross.

Hope you enjoyed!

Again, this is just for fun and shouldn’t be taken seriously.