Top 5 ways to spend Valentine's Day with a loved one

It’s almost here, Valentine’s Day, the one day that you have to show your love for that special someone. So how do you do it?
You can buy roses?... nah, been done.
You can go to the movies? .... nope, too many loud kissers.
You can make dinner? .... forget it, you can’t cook and you’d poison her.

But fear not, there are a few ways to show your love the right way.

Here are the best 5 ways to spend Valentine’s Day with a loved one... for you at least.

1. A Sporting Event

Sure, as soon as you tell her that you both are going to a Leafs or Raptors game she will roll her eyes, or much worse, hit you. You’ll probably think “dam, I deserved that!” but no you don’t deserve that because taking her to a sporting event is the most romantic thing you can ever do.
3 words friends, “Jumbo Tron”. Yes, all you have to do is pay a hundred bucks or so to get a sweet “I love you (insert name here)” message plastered on the big screen. Tell her beforehand that you have a surprise for her on the screen and BAM! She’s excited for the game.
Can you say win win?! She’ll be glued to the Jumbo Tron the whole time, leaving you to enjoy the game in peace. Perfect.



(omit all that marry me business)

2. The Car

Why is the car a great place to spend Valentine’s Day? It’s simple. The best part of being in a car is the ability to optimize Drive- throughs. Yes, a drive-through offers so much joy to everyone involved in the sinful act. You get to eat, she gets to eat. Perfect. But don’t skimp, forget the McValue meals and spring for something more classy... like A&W or Arbys. Then when your belly is full, drive to a lakeside parking lot because that’s romantic and you get to digest in peace.

3. Staples Business Depot

What’s the second sappiest, most heart-warming movie of all time? The Notebook. And what does Staples specialize in? You guessed it, Notebooks! All you have to do is say “honey, I think it’s time we started our own notebook story.” Her heart will melt and all you have to do is spend $7.99 on a frilly notebook. Oh, and in the checkout line, say, “Ally, I will always be your Noah.”
Cue... babbling brook. Boom. You win.



(you = left.... her = right)

4. The Couch and a Seal CD

Why attempt to say the most perfect sweet and heart-felt words when Seal has already done that for you. Face it, you’ll say something stupid and she’ll be upset. So don’t reinvent the wheel. Let Seal serenade her all night long while you catch a few Z’s on the couch. Or even better, turn the TV on and watch the game... on mute of course – you wouldn’t want to be rude.
She’ll be so touched by Seal’s sweetest songs that she won’t even realize that you haven’t really done anything for Valentine’s Day. But I warn you, she will want to cuddle after this, so try to be accommodating... at least until Sportscenter starts at 11.

5. The threshold between two towns

Have you ever seen the number 1 sap movie of all time, “A Walk to Remember?” Probably not, but she definitely has. And there is a grade-A sap scene in the movie that she will never forget. Shane West takes his love, Mandy Moore, to a threshold between two towns before she dies. Stupid right? Read on... and when she asks “why did you take me here?” He cooly responds, “you always wanted to be in two places at once.” .... splash.... cue water works for every woman who has ever lived.
SO all you have to do is re-enact this scene. She will be so swelled up with emotion that she won’t even know that you haven’t spent any money or time on this Valentine’s Day. Boom. Easy. You win times a million.



(If you combined all the Maple trees in the world and melted them in a pot, you would still have less sap than this film)

These all may be unconventional but isn’t unconventional the root-word for spontaneous?! Yes, yes it is. And girls love spontaneity.

Happy V-Day.