3 reasons why Lady Gaga’s “telephone” video sucks

I like Lady Gaga. She’s eccentric and unique – both good in my books. Her music is catchy, even though it’s not my style. But nevertheless, she is a good performer. But this “Telelphone” video featuring Beyonce is just plain stupid. Here, check it out:



Wow... is all I can say about this 9 minute video. Well, I can say a few more things, but nothing nice. So rather than sit here and pretend to ‘get it’ I decided to say it’s brutal, for 3 reasons:

1. Pretentious art

I like unique, artistic videos and I think I can decipher good videos from useless ones (I have a degree in film). But the one thing I will not stand for is pretentious art videos. Basically, what I mean to say is “don’t make weird videos for the sake of making weird videos.” I’ve watched this video a few times now and still can’t figure out what Gaga is trying to say.

Mixing elaborate costumes and outlandish prison skits is not art; it’s just weird. Gaga’s costumes don’t stand for anything other than standing for insanity. The cigarette glasses mean what?! Do they speak to the inner jailhouse norm of smoking on one’s free time? Do they signify that Gaga has something the others desire? Or do they just present a crazy spectacle? I think the latter. But in that case, crazy for the sake of crazy is useless. Crazy for crazy’s sake is done, tired and really just comes across as pretentious art. You don’t fool us Gaga.

2. Too long

After 9 minutes of craziness, with no clear plot/vision, I feel shafted. This video was a twitter trending topics for almost 3 days and still, I don’t know why?! It was way too long, it was redundant and it robbed me of 9 minutes of free time. Not to mention that the constant breaks in the song made it impossible to listen to.

I like long videos, but when it’s 9 minutes of ‘hypno-crazed’ Gaga, I think I’d rather pass. Hypno Gaga has been done, face it, in all of her videos, she’s flailing her arms, clenching her hands and accomplishing nothing. What is the point? There is no point. Yet, people will still argue she is revolutionary and hugely inspirational... but why? Anyone can do 9 minutes of craziness.

3. If you’re not Tarantino, don’t try to be

Quentin Tarantino is an auteur, he’s eccentric and his films are thought-provoking. His films are his; nobody else’s. So then why would Gaga duplicate his decor and style when clearly, he’s already done it?! “Telephone” is not a Tarantino film and therefore, shouldn’t try to be. If you can’t make a Tarantino quality film, then don’t try because all of your feeble attempts will just be seen as second rate. And this video in this case, is third rate.

It’s like in hockey, nobody would dare to ever wear #99 again after Gretzky retired. His number was his, he owns it. Anyone else trying to wear #99 could never live up to Gretzky standards, which is why nobody wears it.



Fine, copy Tarantino, but leave the “Pussy-Wagon” where it belongs; in Kill Bill.

Agree, disagree? Let me know... I want to like this video but for now, have no reason to.

And hey, if you do like the video and disagree with everything I said just remember that this is my take on it.

Fit New You - The Plug

New blog on weight-loss, fitness, and nutrition.... check it out! ->

http://fitnewyou.blogspot.com/2010/03/cardio-myth.html

Top 5 reasons why ‘Vancouver 2010’ was a success

After the closing of the games, and before returning to our typical daily routines, we should take a moment to reflect on why these Olympics were so great for Canada. We accomplished a lot in Vancouver and it’s hard to narrow it done to the top 5, but here’s my take on the top 5 successes of the ‘Vancouver 2010 Olympic games’:

1. 14 Gold Medals

Simply put, “We Owned the Podium.” Winning 14 gold medals means we won 14 events, the most of any country. Germany, in second place, could only muster 10 and the US could only manage 9.

However, the system is flawed. It counts all medals (gold, silver and bronze) equally, which to me, is bogus. And with this, Canada finished 3rd overall.

The Canadian national anthem was heard at medal ceremonies 14 times (4 more than Germany) meaning that we won the most amount of events, thus taking the games.

Where else in life can you finish 2nd or 3rd and still be considered equal to 1st place? Nowhere... because it doesn’t compute. Here’s a few examples:

- On radio stations, the 1st caller wins the contest... not the 2nd or 3rd
- In a draw, the 1st name pulled wins the prize...not the 2nd or 3rd
- In the office, the 1st person in line for a promotion gets the promotion... not the 2nd or 3rd

Finishing 2nd, 3rd, or worse means you didn’t come in first and therefore, didn’t win. It’s simple; Canada won most events, meaning we won the ‘Vancouver 2010 Olympic games.’

2. CTV and its Consortium Coverage

I interned at CBC Sports for a few months in university and was so impressed with how they covered events but the CTV/TSN coverage of the games blew me away. These guys and gals worked incredibly hard to bring us thoughtful, engaging, entertaining and flawless coverage of the events. The events were well broadcasted, the athlete profiles were engaging, the on-the-fly montages were energetic and the voice-over monologues were touching and inspiring. Brian Williams, Jennifer Hedger and James Duthie in particular were incredible. Heck, everyone at CTV and TSN was incredible and they all deserve gold medals.

But perhaps the best part of the CTV/TSN coverage was that it allowed Canadians to focus on our athletes all the time. Thank god we didn’t have to watch NBC coverage of the events with their ‘larger than life narratives’ and ‘zero to hero stories’ surrounding their American athletes. They take patriotism to a sick, uncomfortable, over-the-top, no wonder nobody likes you level.

3. Making us fans of previously unpopular sports

I’ve never watched curling before the 2010 games. But due to great coverage of Cheryl Bernard, I became a big fan. Enough said.



She’s purty. She looks better in Silver than any Swede looks in Gold. period.

Also, Jon Montgomery was the coolest person at the Olympics and any Canadian would be lucky to drink a beer with him. Skeleton was put on the map because of this charismatic Gold medal winner.



4. Stephen Harper

Our Prime Minister was at EVERY event, seriously. Finally, Canada got to see a ‘human’ side to our previously ‘machine-like’ leader. Obama is a person, and now Harper is too.



No wonder he wanted to prorogue parliament for a few weeks... he wanted to watch the games in peace. I can’t blame the man for that. Good for you Stevie.

5. Canada wins men’s and women’s hockey gold

By far, the best part of these Olympics is the fact that we won gold in both men’s and women’s hockey. We proved to the world and especially the cocky Americans that Hockey is our game. Hands-down. No questions asked. Essentially, our men and women said to the Americans “bullshit, stop it.” Congrats men and women... and girls don’t ever feel bad for having an on-ice brew after the gold medal game, you deserve it.



Best part was, I called it after the men lost to the Americans in round-robin play... check my blog.

Canada was brought together by these games, let’s keep up the patriotism.

My Personal Brand Plan - A Fit New You

My personal brand is all about fitness and nutrition tips and excercises that are geared towards people looking to 'get fit'. My brand will be communicated through twitter, a new blog (not just this one) and Linkedin.

A Fit New You:

Andrew Bartucci’s Personal Brand Plan

View more presentations from Andrew Bartucci.

I hope you enjoy! Feedback is always welcome.

An Overview of Social Media Effects

Having studied communications in university and learning the theories of Marshall McLuhan, I’ve learned that when communicating any message, the medium is just as important as the actual message. As we digest media products it is apparent that the message and the medium work together to shape the effects of the message; we understand the limitations and freedoms a particular medium warrants. Whether you’re reading a blog post or newspaper article, the messages, even if they are the same, have different effects. We attribute a certain bias and pre-understanding of each medium before we actually read the message and thus, the medium shapes the message. And further, as McLuhan states, “the medium IS the message.”

An overview of social media effects

In McLuhan’s Tetrad of Media Effects, McLuhan divides a medium’s effect into four categories; Enhancement (figure), Obsolescence (ground), Retrieval (figure) and Reversal (ground). “Figure” refers to the medium and “ground” refers to the medium’s context.
Just like any other medium, social media as a medium produces a certain effect when examining the message.

Examining McLuhan’s Tetrad of Media Effects on Social Media

Enhancement (figure): What the medium amplifies or intensifies.
Social Media intensifies a two-way flow of communication. For example, when reading a blog, a reader can leave a comment on the blog and can even offer their own opinion on the content with a blog of their own.

Obsolescence (ground): What the medium drives out of prominence.
Social Media reduces the prominence of one-way flows of communication. Newspaper articles, books and videos are meant to be passively digested. These mediums do not offer a means to communicate back to the original medium. Social Media overcomes this short-fall of traditional medium forms as it welcomes a discussion and a variance of opinion.

Retrieval (figure): What the medium recovers which was previously lost.Social Media makes conversation and debate achievable. People no longer are passive consumers of media products but rather are now media producers themselves.

Reversal (ground): What the medium does when pushed to its limits.
Prominent Social Media figures become the newsmakers of today. Social Media has the ability to become a credible news source for readers everywhere. Also, now more than ever, media outlets (newspapers, magazines etc.) are offering means for readers to communicate back to them. Online newspapers now offer discussion forums and comment boxes so that readers can voice their opinions on a particular matter. This reality has been produced by Social Media’s prominence in our society.
 
In the end, Social Media has moved our mediated society forward as we no longer need to passively consume media products; we can talk back and engage in the discussion, effectively becoming media producers. Simply put, Social Media enables us to have a voice when in the past we had to sit idle and simply accept a medium’s message.

3 reasons why Canada will win men’s hockey gold

Okay, I know, we choked against the States and almost blew it against the Swiss. But fear not, there is still a lot of hockey left. As it sits right now, nobody has won the gold and everyone is playing in elimination games. We have every opportunity to win... and we will for 3 reasons.

1. An extra game

If we had beaten the States we would have received a direct pass to the quarter-finals. Big woop, one less game to be played against a weak opponent. But losing to the States was the best thing that could have happened. Team Canada, made up of superstars, haven’t meshed yet and it’s only a matter of time until they find their chemistry together. This one extra game, against Germany, offers us more time to come together and find some much needed chemistry. We will wallop Germany and gain back our confidence before playing a tough Russia squad. Practice makes perfect.

2. Adios Marty Brodeur

Sure, Brodeur is the best goalie to ever play but he is past his prime and the game against the states proved this. After giving up 4 relatively weak goals, it was apparent that he isn’t our number 1 goalie. We were scared to admit that Brodeur is old and tired but this loss made it easier to recognize this. His past accolades are great and all, but they won’t help us now. Luongo is now the undisputed number 1 goalie and he can now focus on winning us a gold. Again, losing so badly to the States was the best thing that could have happened for us as it answered our goalie question.



3. Talent

Crosby, Nash, Iginla, Pronger, Heatley, Toews, Getzlaf, etc. etc. etc. the list goes on and on. Our players are the best in the world. They are too talented to roll-over and lose. Sure, the Russians have Ovechkin, Malkin and several other stars, but they lack the depth of the Canadians. The States are riding a high and it’s only a matter of time before their energy runs out and they find it hard to compete with the world’s best players. Face it, the States have a couple solid players but lack a much needed powerful core. They will perish, quickly. The Czechs, Swedes and Finns are all good, but again lack the depth and grit to win it all. Canada has the depth.

Just wait, in a week we’ll have our gold.

Oh and FYI, our record in the opening round is 1-1-1... the same record we had in the 2002 opening round (1-1-1) and we won gold that year.

Top 5 ways to spend Valentine's Day with a loved one

It’s almost here, Valentine’s Day, the one day that you have to show your love for that special someone. So how do you do it?
You can buy roses?... nah, been done.
You can go to the movies? .... nope, too many loud kissers.
You can make dinner? .... forget it, you can’t cook and you’d poison her.

But fear not, there are a few ways to show your love the right way.

Here are the best 5 ways to spend Valentine’s Day with a loved one... for you at least.

1. A Sporting Event

Sure, as soon as you tell her that you both are going to a Leafs or Raptors game she will roll her eyes, or much worse, hit you. You’ll probably think “dam, I deserved that!” but no you don’t deserve that because taking her to a sporting event is the most romantic thing you can ever do.
3 words friends, “Jumbo Tron”. Yes, all you have to do is pay a hundred bucks or so to get a sweet “I love you (insert name here)” message plastered on the big screen. Tell her beforehand that you have a surprise for her on the screen and BAM! She’s excited for the game.
Can you say win win?! She’ll be glued to the Jumbo Tron the whole time, leaving you to enjoy the game in peace. Perfect.



(omit all that marry me business)

2. The Car

Why is the car a great place to spend Valentine’s Day? It’s simple. The best part of being in a car is the ability to optimize Drive- throughs. Yes, a drive-through offers so much joy to everyone involved in the sinful act. You get to eat, she gets to eat. Perfect. But don’t skimp, forget the McValue meals and spring for something more classy... like A&W or Arbys. Then when your belly is full, drive to a lakeside parking lot because that’s romantic and you get to digest in peace.

3. Staples Business Depot

What’s the second sappiest, most heart-warming movie of all time? The Notebook. And what does Staples specialize in? You guessed it, Notebooks! All you have to do is say “honey, I think it’s time we started our own notebook story.” Her heart will melt and all you have to do is spend $7.99 on a frilly notebook. Oh, and in the checkout line, say, “Ally, I will always be your Noah.”
Cue... babbling brook. Boom. You win.



(you = left.... her = right)

4. The Couch and a Seal CD

Why attempt to say the most perfect sweet and heart-felt words when Seal has already done that for you. Face it, you’ll say something stupid and she’ll be upset. So don’t reinvent the wheel. Let Seal serenade her all night long while you catch a few Z’s on the couch. Or even better, turn the TV on and watch the game... on mute of course – you wouldn’t want to be rude.
She’ll be so touched by Seal’s sweetest songs that she won’t even realize that you haven’t really done anything for Valentine’s Day. But I warn you, she will want to cuddle after this, so try to be accommodating... at least until Sportscenter starts at 11.

5. The threshold between two towns

Have you ever seen the number 1 sap movie of all time, “A Walk to Remember?” Probably not, but she definitely has. And there is a grade-A sap scene in the movie that she will never forget. Shane West takes his love, Mandy Moore, to a threshold between two towns before she dies. Stupid right? Read on... and when she asks “why did you take me here?” He cooly responds, “you always wanted to be in two places at once.” .... splash.... cue water works for every woman who has ever lived.
SO all you have to do is re-enact this scene. She will be so swelled up with emotion that she won’t even know that you haven’t spent any money or time on this Valentine’s Day. Boom. Easy. You win times a million.



(If you combined all the Maple trees in the world and melted them in a pot, you would still have less sap than this film)

These all may be unconventional but isn’t unconventional the root-word for spontaneous?! Yes, yes it is. And girls love spontaneity.

Happy V-Day.